These short stories are actual events in which I was personally involved. They occurred between 1982 and 1995 while I was serving as a police officer and detective in the bomb and arson unit, homicide unit, and burglary and auto theft units with KCPD. These incidents are taken from my memory of the events as they took place. They are not, in any way, meant to hurt or cause discredit to anyone or anyplace described or resembled in these stories. I wish to make it known that my personal comments in each story may be a little on the redneck side, but they are not meant to be racist or sexist, but humorous. Even though most police officers humor is sometimes considered sick and different from that of other people, we use this humor as a tool to handle the many mental stresses we deal with each day.